6 Things I Want My “Taken” Friends to Know

Seeing ourselves from another vantage point is helpful. When a young couple falls in love, sometimes they lose touch with reality. Although I rejoice with them when they find “the one,” I want to share a few words of caution from another single adult.

  1. Don’t forget about your previous relationships. Most singles have been victims of lousy people who remove almost all same-sex friends from their lives when they get involved romantically. It stings, and it makes it appear you meant little to them. Don’t be that kind of friend.
  2. Don’t assume I’m jealous of you. I mean that lovingly. If someone is frustrated that they can’t hangout with you, it doesn’t always mean they are jealous of you.
  3. There are others things to talk about. I really do want to hear about my friends’ relationships, and I love getting to pray with them for their new endeavor. However, if that is pretty much all you want to discuss, chances are the conversation will be short.
  4. Don’t let it affect your involvement at church. Intentionally doing life with another person will take you away from your local church sometimes, but if the new-normal is your absence from communion with other believers, that’s a problem.
  5. Remember you were single once. Just as seniors like to look down their noses at freshmen, so couples tend to snarl at “flighty, immature” single folks. Yes, your life is now a little more complicated, but we have our own situations to worry about as well. We all lead complex lives.
  6. Be gracious with your single friends. Although we observe your relationship from the outside, singles cannot know everything simply by watching. If we are hard on you or irrational, lovingly correct us and communicate that we are not irrelevant to you.

If you are “young and in love,” I hope you take these comments as encouragement. If the single friends in your life are supportive, they will be in your corner, cheering your relationship on.



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